Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I got the funk

not THAT funk

I woke up today simply not feelin' it, as the kids say. I don't know what the deal was with me, but a lot of thinking just caught up with me. I've been going at full speed for  quite a bit lately and I think I finally hit the wall.

It was not fun to be in my head today. Here's a sampling of my thought process:

a. My running form sucks (worse than i even originally thought). I ran in shoes TWICE last week which caused my knee to go berserk (reason A-1 I went to barefoot running in the first place).  I have a "race" this weekend, so achy bits are not helping my motivation. I'm kinda feeling down about my running progress overall. Mrs. M. is probably calling me an idiot right about...now as she reads this, but I still feel like I'm on a plateau that extends for miles in all directions.
Yep; that's about right

b. I don't know why or how, but I was totally fish out of water in my internship today. It was like I was going through the day in a third person . It was also the first time since I began this journey that I thought, just for a moment "am I really cut out to be a teacher?" I shook it off, but it was a terribly disconcerting few hours in my headspace. 

c. School has been crazy. There are about 3500 different projects, each of which is THE. MOST. IMPORTANT thing I have to do over the next six months, on top of student teaching, day to day classes and responsibilities. I feel buried every time I even think about school work. Ugh.
Almost there...
All in all, I have to think this was the bottom of a low spot, and I'm sure to climb out of it directly. There is so much I have to be proud of and thankful for that I can't let a single day take the wind out of me. I just have to make sure I'm not a complete downer to everyone around me in the process of sorting it all out...

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